To say this past week has been hard would be an understatement.
I was an emotional disaster, and that’s putting it lightly.
I was up and down, side to side, I didn’t know which wave of what feeling was coming next, and honestly I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know how to process it.
I am a very logical person when it comes to pretty much everything.
It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, cause me anxiety or make me upset.
But this week, this week it didn’t take much at all to feel all those things.
I was upset with my self, I was upset with my outer appearance. I was upset with my disease, I was annoyed with my kids and I was pissed at my husband.
FOR NO GOOD REASON!!
Don’t get me wrong, husbands and kids know how to push your buttons from time to time and my patience runs thing when I am flaring, so at those points it doesn’t take much to set me off.
But this week was different.
I had convinced myself that my husband was having an affair – when really he “worked late” because he was out buying my birthday present! *face palm*
I wanted to retract away from the world.
I wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything.
And that is NOT like me!!
I started to look back at things, and then it clicked!!
I had been off of Orilissa for 6 weeks this past Wednesday!
They say for medication it takes about 4-6 weeks to get out of your system, and boy were they right. I am pretty sure I felt the last leg of the surge in hormones.
It all made sense, but that doesn’t mean it was okay.
The following day when I regained normalcy, it was filled with apologies.
Apologies to my husband who is more patient, understanding and compassionate than any human I have ever met and I truly don’t deserve.
Apologies to my kids for being short fused, grumpy and tired, which as bad as it is and it’s sad they had to learn this way, my disease has turned them into compassionate and empathetic kids. They have the biggest hearts and are genuinely concerned for other peoples feelings.
So we are onto the next chapter of it all,
Dealing with the symptoms daily.
Dealing with full blown hormones.
Dealing with no longer being subdued into menopause.
I am seeing how effective it was to begin with, and I feel like this coming week will be the true test of how beneficial Orilissa was in my journey, or did it actually lose its mojo after 3 months.
Im holding on and warning my family for this rollercoaster.